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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787328">Penance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImissBalthazar/pseuds/ImissBalthazar'>ImissBalthazar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Balthazar the Knight in Shining Armour, Canon Typical Violence, Castiel's POV, Castiel's time in purgatory alone, Gen, Post Season 7, Purgatory, losing hope, no I will not elaborate, very open for interpretation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:00:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImissBalthazar/pseuds/ImissBalthazar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Benny and Dean slipped through the eye of the needle, escaping Purgatory, Castiel didn't go with them. How could he? So he stayed in Purgatory all by himself...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Penance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Erin and Outro told me to.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p></p>
  <div class="">
    <p>Dean was safe. That’s what was important. </p>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>The Leviathans had been dreadful to fight off and ultimately escape from, but Castiel did his job. Dean got through the rift with Benny, safe and sound. Cas was still alive... more or less. He sat against a tree nursing wounds. Admittedly, he missed the comfort travelling in a group. Having someone to talk to...</p>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>But Dean was safe. That’s what was important.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p> </p>
    <p>Castiel wasn’t sure how long it had been. Long enough. He missed the warmth and comfort of earth. He had long forgotten what safe had felt like, and was constantly looking over his shoulder to see if something was going to kill him. Far too many times creatures had gotten far too close for his liking. And he wasn’t sure what would happen to him if he died here. He did however know for a fact that he didn’t want to find out. Picking up his blade, Castiel kept going. This was his penance for all the wrong he had done. He more than deserved it. He knew there was no coming back for him either. He’d be stuck here. Forever.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p> </p>
    <p>But Dean was safe. That’s what was important.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p> </p>
    <p>Castiel knew he deserved it but he hated it. Always on the run, and there was never a time when his body was free of aches. His shoes never quite dried from when he had crossed the river, and the sogginess had left him all but comfortable. Comfortable was a foreign word to him now. Not to mention he was dirty. There was no clean change of clothes, and his clothes were stained with a mixture of mud, blood, and guts. It was on his skin too. Castiel knew he couldn’t risk bathing, he may never dry and a chill would set in. Plus, that would leave him far too vulnerable for far too long. </p>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>Dean was safe. That’s what was important...</p>
  </div>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
  <p>Castiel wanted out. He hated it here. It was never quiet, there was always some rustling in the bushes, the clashing of blades, or some far off noise of pain. He missed the fleeting memory of warmth and comfort. He missed being able to relax. He missed feeling clean. He missed not having to look over his shoulder every few moments. He didn’t want to fight anymore. His energy and will was wearing away. He couldn’t do this much longer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
  <p>Dean was safe. They could live without him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> </p>
  <p>Castiel wasn’t sure what they were, but there were a lot of them. He wasn’t ready for the ambush. It was a mix of slashing and stabbing and punching. Cas whirled around, attacking anything solid. He must’ve killed a few, but he didn’t care enough to count, he was far too focused on ensuring the next one didn’t get a jump on him. Castiel was tired, though. Exhausted from all the running, and fighting. It wasn’t his strength ebbing, but his will. Before he knew it, his back hit the cold, hard ground, driving the breath from him. His head must’ve hit a rock, it stung and his vision went fuzzy. He felt the weight of a monster on top of him, and he heard the crisp sound of his blade scraping against the rock as the monster pulled it up. Castiel shut his eyes, pulling his hands over his face to try and block the blow...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>...but it never came. There was a strangled noise and the sickening sound of bones snapping, before the weight atop him fell limp. It was hauled off of him, and Cas slowly peeked from between his fingers. He must’ve hit his head harder than he realized, or perhaps he did die, because there was no way that was...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Balthazar?” Cas croaked out. Firm yet gentle hands scooped him up bridal style, before setting him on his feet. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hush now, Cassie, we haven’t a lot of time.” Balthazar’s voice responded. No. It couldn’t be. Castiel’s arm was draped over the other male’s shoulders, and he felt an arm wrap around his waist, relieving him of some of his weight. He breathed an involuntary sigh of relief. And then they were moving. His head ached severely, and the motion surely did not help. It was only a few more seconds, before everything around him faded to black. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He woke up to the sound of a car rushing by. Wait, a car? Castiel sat up abruptly, making his head throb. He looked around. It was brighter... he was on the side of a road. A road! In front of him was a town sign - that meant he was back on earth! He pushed himself up and began walking, and a painstakingly familiar car drove by. He nearly forgot how much he missed the Winchesters. Dean would have to wait though. He would find him soon. Castiel needed to know one thing first. He disappeared to the sound of Baby’s tires screeching to a halt. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He needed to know if that was really Balthazar.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
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